only trying to be still...

being still.  i know some of you have just read that title and are thinking, are you kidding me jody? you know the whirlwind of my existence.  you know the well choreographed dance i do daily to keep a family of six in step with its schedule.  you know i do it to myself and am much to blame for the breathless, even reckless,  pace we keep.  i might attempt to persuade you that i am just saying no to almost everything.  that i really am slowing it all down.  i really am serious about downsizing, delegating, purging, prioritzing. and i really am.   the truth of the matter is that even if i do all of the above, i still have a bunch of children and unless i choose to send them all off to a new england boarding school, there really is only so much cutting back i can do. even if we were to send them merrily on their way,  i would then be quite busy working three jobs to pay for it. i suppose we could have been more conservative and responsible on the front side and gone with the 2.5 kid thing.  but we didn't and so our life proves to be anything but still. but that is exactly why i have chosen this title.  it is a reminder.  it is a goal.  it is something to which i boldly aspire.  it is perhaps inconceivable in many ways, but i have always been drawn to the not likely. bottom line.  it is my blog and i can name it anything i so choose.  so there. be still.
    actually i was inspired this summer when i came across it in the woods.  yes, the woods.  we were spending father's day weekend at an amazing retreat called serenbe.  serenbe, by the way, gets it's name from the words be serene. how lovely is that?  i spoke at length with the man who developed this oasis.  he shared with me the story of how this tiny dream came to be.  20 some years later he has this unbelievable operation, but he is still pouring orange juice for his guests and is happy to chat.   anyway, we were at serenbe and walking through the most beautiful thicket of woods.  we had just finished a family dinner and were in search of an elusive waterfall.  we came across a simple bench resting underneath a canopy of dense trees.  below and just in front of the bench was a large sign set down into the ground.  on it, i read the following:
be still and know that I am God.
be still and know.
be still.
be.
it was brilliant. "be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  ~ psalm 46:10.  i have always loved that verse. but to see it in that place.  at the foot of a plain, wooden bench, underneath a covering of dark green, beside a quiet stream at dusk.  i was completely taken. i was ready to lie down upon this sign and hug it fiercely to me.  it was a good thing my more reserved children and husband were with  me.  who knows.
     i am not often very still. i am not very good at it.  not at all.  i spend oodles of time in motion, running hither and yon.  i occasionally grieve the fact that my neighbors see only the dust and tail lights of my gigantic SUV traveling in and out of my driveway all day long.  i counted one day.  i left my house 14 separate times.  my father would have insisted that if i had been better organized i could have reduced this number by at least half.  he may be right on most things, but i am certain, each of the 14 necessary exits was critically timed.  it is true...i come and i go.  things in motion tend to stay in motion.  things at rest tend to stay at rest.  i am a walking, running, breathing, and sometimes panting example of this scientific theory.  so, though some of you may shake your heads at my title.  i am completely okay with that.  i will still invite you to come and sit and read.  i will still share my busy thoughts.  i will still aspire to rest.  i will still encourage you to rest.
    the photos along the sidebar are things i have captured because their beauty spoke quietly to my soul.  if nothing else, they caused me to pause.  to stop.  to be still.  even if it was just for a moment.  just long enough for the click of my camera.  even that momentary stopping is at least a starting point on my journey to stillness.   the quotes and verses are words much more eloquent than my own.  many of them have been penned messily into my journal.  i am glad to have found a calm place to share them. laugh with me, if you will, but my all means, be still. 

synonyms of still: 

 hushed, motionless, peaceful,

   placid, quiet, quiescent, tranquil, 

   undisturbed, calm, gentle, meek, mild, modest,

  passive, patient, silent.